Like it or not online dating has taking over the dating world in a BIG way. Some of us know the lucky success stories while even more of us know of the horror stories. We are going to take a moment to look at it from all angles.
The Good:
This was harder to find then I had thought. Do not get me wrong most of the DOT.coms have a Love Story section featuring couples and their story. HOWEVER I wanted to find a REAL couple! So I set out on the task and began to dig. Finally after about 5 hours online I came across Anna and Michael. They met through a popular online dating resource. Their story started with a few weeks of emails and picture swapping. She was attracted to his sense of humor and he was reeled in with her compassion. A few weeks later they swapped phone numbers. Long story short a few months later he asked her to marry him. Aside from the slight chance they are paid to give this info it seems legit. But they did not blindly rush into it. They took there time getting to know one another online first. I think that they were able to establish a small form of trust that blossomed into a great rewarding love. I personally know a few couples that met online through social forums but not dating sights.
Then again I work for a dating service so no one comes to me with their online success.
The Bad:
I think “The Bad” is painfully obvious. The cyber world is full of lairs, scammers, and cheaters. “OH MY!” It gives them a play ground they only dreamed of a mere 20 years ago. I am really take a moment and think about it. On line we are technically nameless, faceless, and untraceable to the general public. Giving each person good or bad to create themselves in any manor they choose. Sure a lot of normal people choose to merely improve the image people see. Telling little white lies. Taking off 10 or 15 pounds on our weight or adding an inch or two of height hoping when people meet us it won’t matter. But then there are people who create an entirely fake identity. Thanks to sites allowing users to upload a massive amount of photos and giving the user access to everyone else’s photos. Many of the pictures we see are not even the people we are talking to. Then there are tech savvy folks with access to programs like photo shop that allow them to alter their flaws from a picture or put them in the background of a place they have never been. Given that there is a ZERO verification system all one person would need to lie to you is a VALID credit card number. Thanks to the gift card industry any one can have a visa! Heck you can go buy your re-loadable visa debit card at any super market or pharmacy. Yet tens of thousands of good honest hard working people dump millions of dollars a year into exposing themselves to these seedy scammers.
The Ugly:
There are a massive amount of potential reasons way online dating is bad. But there is a much darker side. There are thousands of people that have met ill willed fates at your local dating dot.com. The reports are missed by your local broadcaster because many of these crimes are not obviously linked with online dating sites till much later and by then Charlie on the 10p.m. news is covering the latest string of criminal activity. There are thousands of active restraining orders against people that victimized someone online. A list of crimes that can be linked to online dating: Identity Theft, Stalking, Rape, Murder, Robbery, and the list goes on and on. Either way you look at it how safe is it inviting someone from the computer into your life. You know only what they tell you. Its not like you have mutual friends? Then what? Who would you call if your date from the night before robbed you? Would dating dot.com remove their profile? Or maybe just block you from viewing it? Who knows?
Seems to me that your options are risk the bad or avoid it. Sometimes you have to follow your heart but please use your head. If you do meet people online be smart. Take your time really get to know someone and if things seem to not add up avoid that person! Think smart not hard!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Lite hearted humor ofr us in the dating world
You know many times in dating we take things too serious. We place such urgency on meeting THE RIGHT PERSON, having the perfect relationship! We some times forget the WHOLE point of relationships is to have fun add happiness to our lives just someone that love us for us! So take time today! Think what you have to offer vs. what you want. You might find you need to adjust the direction of your search!
Just for fun I was surfing the net and found this list…….
You can find this at
http:///
Top 10 worst things to say on a first date
December 19th, 2006 by Anita Bath
On Jay Leno the other week, Jay was talking about first dates. During Jay’s ramblings, I realized that my last first date was over 10 years ago and that I’d now be the absolute worst person to ask for advice. I can’t imagine how little help I’ll be able to provide my son in another 10-15 years when he starts dating: “If you forget her name, don’t try to make up some cute fake name like ‘Poopsie’ for her.”
While I’d be worthless as a dating coach, I realized I was very good at recognizing the key components for a BAD first date. In particular, phrases that would take a first date from sparks to ashes instantly. Here are my top 10:
10. Don’t worry, the Doctor says it’s just a rash…
9. When we get married we should …
8. Toothpaste? What’s that???
7. You don’t want to know what the voices are saying about you right now.
6. Oh, I’ve had tons of first dates, but golly-gee, I have a feeling you’re gonna be my first second date ever!
5. When I was a woman I …
4. I realize this might seem a little sudden given that we just met … but could I borrow six hundred and fifty three dollars?
3. Sorry I’m late, me and the wife just had a big fight.
2. Do you mind if I record any of this?
1. My Dad says I’m the best kisser in the county (anyone know what movie this is from?)
Remember do not take your self or life TOO seriously or you could miss out on the joy life offers….
Take care
Just for fun I was surfing the net and found this list…….
You can find this at
http:///
Top 10 worst things to say on a first date
December 19th, 2006 by Anita Bath
On Jay Leno the other week, Jay was talking about first dates. During Jay’s ramblings, I realized that my last first date was over 10 years ago and that I’d now be the absolute worst person to ask for advice. I can’t imagine how little help I’ll be able to provide my son in another 10-15 years when he starts dating: “If you forget her name, don’t try to make up some cute fake name like ‘Poopsie’ for her.”
While I’d be worthless as a dating coach, I realized I was very good at recognizing the key components for a BAD first date. In particular, phrases that would take a first date from sparks to ashes instantly. Here are my top 10:
10. Don’t worry, the Doctor says it’s just a rash…
9. When we get married we should …
8. Toothpaste? What’s that???
7. You don’t want to know what the voices are saying about you right now.
6. Oh, I’ve had tons of first dates, but golly-gee, I have a feeling you’re gonna be my first second date ever!
5. When I was a woman I …
4. I realize this might seem a little sudden given that we just met … but could I borrow six hundred and fifty three dollars?
3. Sorry I’m late, me and the wife just had a big fight.
2. Do you mind if I record any of this?
1. My Dad says I’m the best kisser in the county (anyone know what movie this is from?)
Remember do not take your self or life TOO seriously or you could miss out on the joy life offers….
Take care
Thursday, January 10, 2008
DOTcom Dating
How effective is eHarmony, really?
Dan at mapping the themes of human existence ponders the effectiveness of online dating services like eHarmony, and comes to this conclusion:
"eHarmony members are paying high fees for the opportunity to use the latest available “matching” technologies. In reality, they are paying for a 0.274% chance of getting hitched with another eHarmony member in any given year. That’s 1/3 worse than the success rate of the U.S. singles population!"
Unfortunately, this conclusion is supported by less-than-rigorous methodology
Granted, calculations in this area will always be imprecise, for reasons that will be made clear later in this post. Luckily, this is not the kind of problem that needs to be resolved to the nth decimal point. It is like the role of the weather forecaster. They do not need to predict the temperature to perfection. They need to be accurate enough in ways that are actionable. In other words, should we dress for summer, winter, rain, etc. In much the same way, we need to be accurate enough to see the big picture here, while avoiding mistakes that can render any conclusions meaningless.
So... is the linked post accurate? If not, by how much does it miss the mark?
Continue reading "How effective is eHarmony, really?" »
From http:///
You know I really do not like to call anyone one service out, however this services fee’s are (from what people have told me) $50 to $100 a month. They use computerized matching. So basically you pay first and they might not have one single member “COMPADIBLE” to you…. That is not very fair or effective. The longer online dating has been a mainstream form of meeting people the more I see the down falls. You have perditors looking for victims. Gold diggers digging (millionairmatch.com). Married or otherwise taken people seeing what’s out there. Bored teens and pre teens. Then you have the rest of the ACTUAL serious singles looking for love trapped in the middle. Often times left on their own trying to judge who is real or not.
So have you tried online dating? And what are your thoughts on it?
Dan at mapping the themes of human existence ponders the effectiveness of online dating services like eHarmony, and comes to this conclusion:
"eHarmony members are paying high fees for the opportunity to use the latest available “matching” technologies. In reality, they are paying for a 0.274% chance of getting hitched with another eHarmony member in any given year. That’s 1/3 worse than the success rate of the U.S. singles population!"
Unfortunately, this conclusion is supported by less-than-rigorous methodology
Granted, calculations in this area will always be imprecise, for reasons that will be made clear later in this post. Luckily, this is not the kind of problem that needs to be resolved to the nth decimal point. It is like the role of the weather forecaster. They do not need to predict the temperature to perfection. They need to be accurate enough in ways that are actionable. In other words, should we dress for summer, winter, rain, etc. In much the same way, we need to be accurate enough to see the big picture here, while avoiding mistakes that can render any conclusions meaningless.
So... is the linked post accurate? If not, by how much does it miss the mark?
Continue reading "How effective is eHarmony, really?" »
From http:///
You know I really do not like to call anyone one service out, however this services fee’s are (from what people have told me) $50 to $100 a month. They use computerized matching. So basically you pay first and they might not have one single member “COMPADIBLE” to you…. That is not very fair or effective. The longer online dating has been a mainstream form of meeting people the more I see the down falls. You have perditors looking for victims. Gold diggers digging (millionairmatch.com). Married or otherwise taken people seeing what’s out there. Bored teens and pre teens. Then you have the rest of the ACTUAL serious singles looking for love trapped in the middle. Often times left on their own trying to judge who is real or not.
So have you tried online dating? And what are your thoughts on it?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Dating 101
Just like with any thing else dating comes with basic’s. The simple definition for the word basic is 1. of, pertaining to, or forming a base; fundamental: a basic principle; the basic ingredient. So first we must look at the foundation of dating. Why and how we date.
Why is a relatively simple place to start. Dating is process most of use to find a life partner. Dating gives us a chance to meet people of the opposite sex and evaluate their potential as a partner. We date to examine who this person is, how they treat others (including ourselves), and what they have to offer.
In a perfect world you would continue the process until you met what you see as the perfect fit. Then you two would ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. However in the REAL world many of us settle for less then we NEED (let alone deserve).
One of the many service’s MMIKC provides is date counseling. We walk you through the do’s and don’ts of dating to optimize your chance of finding the happiness you are longing for.
However there are many things someone can do on their own. I find that people with out a good sense of who they are have the worst luck in dating. They use dating as way to fill the emptiness in their life. Though it is true finding the right partner with fill your life with many wonderful thing it will not complete you. You are already a whole person!
Once you are sure of who you are. You are a lot more likely to pick healthier people to be a part of your life. High self value is as important in dating as it is in all the other aspects of your life.
It is also important to select people with good self value. The last thing any of us want in a relationship is to be the sole source of emotional fulfillment for our partner. It is not healthy for them or ourselves. Just as we have to work hard to make sure that person does not become more important then our own self.
So what is a basic dating rule that helps you?
Why is a relatively simple place to start. Dating is process most of use to find a life partner. Dating gives us a chance to meet people of the opposite sex and evaluate their potential as a partner. We date to examine who this person is, how they treat others (including ourselves), and what they have to offer.
In a perfect world you would continue the process until you met what you see as the perfect fit. Then you two would ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. However in the REAL world many of us settle for less then we NEED (let alone deserve).
One of the many service’s MMIKC provides is date counseling. We walk you through the do’s and don’ts of dating to optimize your chance of finding the happiness you are longing for.
However there are many things someone can do on their own. I find that people with out a good sense of who they are have the worst luck in dating. They use dating as way to fill the emptiness in their life. Though it is true finding the right partner with fill your life with many wonderful thing it will not complete you. You are already a whole person!
Once you are sure of who you are. You are a lot more likely to pick healthier people to be a part of your life. High self value is as important in dating as it is in all the other aspects of your life.
It is also important to select people with good self value. The last thing any of us want in a relationship is to be the sole source of emotional fulfillment for our partner. It is not healthy for them or ourselves. Just as we have to work hard to make sure that person does not become more important then our own self.
So what is a basic dating rule that helps you?
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